Thoughts while driving . . . .

Yesterday I left my cell phone at my mom's and today I saw my mission friend Julie who left a couple items at my home. I knew she was headed down to Spanish Fork and I thought I could go pick up my phone and drop off her items. I fed Hudson and packed him in his car seat, I was sure he would be awake by now but Baby H sleeps on. Hudson was nicknamed Big H by his Uncle Jeff, his cousin Jayne calls him Little H and I call him Baby H, anyway I thought I would share my random thoughts during my drive.

First of all: Motorcycle cops that clock peoples speed are DANGEROUS!!! I was 9 months pregnant driving down Foothill when I see someone pointing a huge machine gun at me, I ducked and almost swerved but luckily my brain registered COP in time to save me!

Second: Street signs that say "Stay in your own lane" and "don't follow trucks" "trucks leave roadway" make me laugh, the fact that they have to put these signs up shows me that 1. construction has gone on for too long and 2. there are many people that have licenses that shouldn't

Third: I remembered the first time I drove up I-15, I think I was 14, it seemed so magical heading to Salt Lake where the temple I had always dreamed of lay. I was here for my oldest brothers wedding. I though how cool it would be to live in Utah and dreamed up what it must be like, it kind of is, however I pictured everyone living in newer homes like where I lived, not in the awesome 1950's neighborhood that I live in.

Fourth: I fantasized about Colorado, but tried to focus on that first sight of Salt Lake, and than I fantasized about Colorado some more. We got Hudson's name from a city in Colorado although there are lots of other places with the name Hudson as well. I even thought of driving to Colorado but it sounded too exhausting. I am dyeing to show Hudson the state of Colorado.

Fifth: I remembered the last 4th of July we had at Grand Lake, I guess that one was so awesome it made up for missing this years. Today was Pioneer Day here in Utah, basically 4th of July part II where they celebrate the pioneers coming into the valley, due to my trip to Springville, yesterday and today, I saw somewhere around 50 firework shows all across the valley, and got home in time to be in between the ones at Liberty Park and the U. I promised TJ I wouldn't scare Hudson with the fireworks, so we went inside but I could hear the cannons still. Also apparently Utah has laxed their firework laws so to be honest every night since I have been home from the hospital I have heard/seen fireworks, and they are pretty spectacular.

Sixth: I thought of my best friends in high school Janelle and Sarah, once upon a time Janelle said "I'm the type of person who likes to remember and talk about the past" and we all concurred that we were too, we loved making memories together and than looking back on them. Today I saw my friend Lily who helped me be less sentimental. I want to live in the present but there is something so beautiful about memories. I try to do both live in the present and reminisce the past. I guess you have to live in the present to be able to make new memories to reminisce about. I've had a beautiful life and sometime it's hard to recognize the beauty of a moment until it has passed. I'm working on enjoying the moments that haven't passed because when you have a family of your own they seem to last a lot longer and I want to look back at them in joy.

Big/Little/Baby H is stretching I better get ready for him.♥

3 Weeks

So my little Chunky Monkey turned 3 weeks today!!! Hooray he is almost too big for his cradle, poor kid often wakes up with his arms stuck in the bars I think next week we'll move to the crib, it is really nice having him so close though.

TJ's baby sister Emily became Emily Grahm today, she married the fantastic Dewey, her high school sweetheart. Hudson and I are pooped, my house looks like someone pulled everything out of every drawer and left it there, and my C-section is throbbing on the right side. It was a wonderful day all in all though. Truth be known I actually cleaned before blogging and feel much better, except for the throbbing c-section. Such is life though.

So little Chunky Monkey stays awake during the morning/day now. His eyes are more focused and he stares through everyone's soul. His eyes got bluer and his hair is getting curlier. I finally trimmed his nails and took his mittens off and he has done well minus one hot car ride where he drew blood from himself. He hates taking his afternoon nap he seems to be like mom and dad, not wanting to miss anything. I have found that noise actually helps him sleep. He lifts his neck really well and loves to rest his head on his arm and put his other hand up to his cheek in a fist, he's quite the little poser. He is so darn cute and such a great baby all in all! I love him!

2 weeks

So Hudson actually isn't 2 weeks till tomorrow but we had his 2 week appointment yesterday. His umbilical chord was oozing yellowy/green stuff and so they had us come in a couple days early, turns out that is normal. He weighed in at 9 pounds 9 oz and he feels even heavier this morning so I'm pretty sure he has gained a pound since his birth. He also measured at 21 and 3/4" which is 2 and a 1/4" longer than his birth, the Dr thinks they probably just didn't stretch him out all the way, anyway he is a big boy! He snores, grunts, and makes all kinds of noises why he sleeps. I'm pretty sure he is too big for his cradle as he barely moves and gets his arm stuck in the bars poor guy. His eyelashes have gotten longer and he is good at imitating us I don't know if he means to. But so far he's imitated my kissy face at him, and TJ's yawning. He also smiles at me when I smile at him, I know it's probably just gas but he must have a lot of it. My favorite moment would have to be yesterday he was laying on my chest and he lifted up his neck and placed his head on the flat spot between my clavicles and let out this big sigh of contentment, sigh so cute! These pictures are actually from last week but oh well.

Hudson

My heart has been so many places throughout my life, it's interesting to look back and put it all into perspective. To see how young I was and the things I thought and felt, I have the things I've always wanted in my life a husband I love and adore and now we have a family and I am a mother. I am sleep deprived but have no idea except for this morning I woke up fed Hudson and fell asleep with him on the couch, I knew I had a husband sleeping in our room but couldn't remember his name, so I started yelling Adam, really strange I ended up giving up and going back to sleep, the only Adam's I know are my brother and the one in the scriptures.

Anyways some awesome things about Hudson, the morning after he was born I was holding him in a little rocker by the window in the hospital and he smiled at me for like 20 mins. He started with this full mischievous smile with his eyes barely open and worked to half smiles and open mouth smiles and he smiles everyday several times through out the day. Also when we were in the hospital I made a kissy face at him and he looked up at me and made the biggest smacking kiss, he has done this a couple more times too. He is kind of attached to me, when he is sleeping in my arms he will open his eyes a crack and reach out to make sure it's me and I'm still holding him, when we had to put him under the billi lights this was hard for him as he had his mask on and had to lay there with out me he would often rip it off and his poor arm would flail as he tried to find me, he only spend a total of 6 hours over 2 days under those things. He likes music, whenever anyone sings he is really interested. Oh he loves his hands, in our ultrasounds he was obsessed with them always sucking on them and putting them in his mouth, he still does this. He is currently sleeping on my lap so I can't download the newest pics but here are some of my favorite so far.

Labor and Delivery 6/30/2011

For my friends who are pregnant or yet to have kids I don't write this to scare you I just want to always remember it. Before anyone goes any further reading all pain experienced during this process was truly forgotten the moment I held Hudson, really, and if I had to I would do it all again! And yes this is a picture of me right after delivery beautiful I know;-)!

What a wild few days! Hudson is 3 days old (5 now actually, not a lot of time to blog anymore) and it all seems like one day to me! I want to record everything before I forget it, pictures will have to wait as I forgot the cord for our camera(now I'm home see here is a picture). So it all started around 9pm on Wednesday night, I was at young womens tying quilts when it became painful for me to bend forward anymore. So I went home and laid down, I started to notice that my back pain was coming every five minutes, so I stayed up till midnight reading all about labor and back pain, it seems that it usually indicates a face up baby. Finally I called labor and delivery and midnight and they said to take a bath or go to bed. I went to bed, around 1:30 I woke up in pain and went to the bathroom where I had a bloody show (mucus with a little blood, means your dilating) so I called labor and delivery again and they said to go back to bed, I had already told TJ to come home from work and started to pack the last of our bags, I tried to go back to sleep but it was too painful! So labor and delivery said to come on in! I came in and was at a 5! Wahoo, contractions were regular and I was sent to a delivery room! Contractions were intense and I was around an 8 and I started to throw up I decided for me to be able to remain calm through the rest of the delivery I needed an epidural. I mainly feared for the future more than anything else! Getting the epidural made me want to run home, my nerves kept getting tinged and I would want to jump off the bed but had to remain completely still. After I finally got it successfully installed I was in paradise, I listened to my hypnobirthing relaxation and thought of and prayed for Hudson, it was such a wonderful time, it was like night and day! I thought of all the things I hope for him to get out of life.

One of my friends happened to be a nurse on staff Melanie Hope who I now regard as my angel, wow, I am humbled by all that nurses do and Melanie's ability to be calm, concise and quickly get things done, she is the best nurse I've ever met and has a gift! So I finally hit a 10 about 12 hours after starting labor. I started to vomit intensely despite the zofran I had already accepted for my nausea. Up to this point my Dr and nurse said that I was having a textbook labor and should even pop him out a little earlier than an average first labor Everyone had been trying to figure out what way he was positioned, and come to find he was facing up, babies most successfully descend and exit facing down nevertheless they had me push, and I pushed for 2 hours, he got to a +2 and didn't progress, his head even started to mold but we didn't make any progress. My Dr said I have a narrow round pelvis which is great for running and looking good in my jeans, great encouraging. I thought death sounded like a great option at this point, my epidural had run out and more importantly my strength as we were all trying so hard to push him out. I kept feeling the desire to push, I think it I had energy left it wouldn't have been so bad but without it I felt helpless.

My Dr who is against unnecessary C-sections started to explain the risks and why he thought it was our best option, he couldn't start fast enough! I started to shake but still had the urge to push and no strength it was awful. They wheeled me up to the operation room, Melanie worked with an amazing calmness and precision to get everything done quickly. I remember someone in the operation room saying to me this seemed like a good idea 9 months ago huh? It made me laugh. I loved my anesthesiologist he warmed my hands and was so sweet, he may have even made that comment I don't know. I could feel a lot of tugging and pressure it was kind of wild but I could feel no pain. Then I heard my baby cry and it was the best sound in the world! TJ was with me and I made him go to him, I could see Hudson's big hand grab TJ's finger and I could see him looking up at him it was so sweet!

They wheeled me back to the delivery room, I heard my mom say Elizabeth as we passed by the waiting room and saw my brother's mother-in-law but I had no strength to lift my hand even. Then TJ brought Hudson into the room, I didn't think they would let me hold him as I was still shaking and freezing and nautious, but Melanie held him up to me and I couldn't stand it so I asked if I could hold him, as soon as I did the shaking stopped, the nausea subsided and I got warm. He fed right away and like a champ, this kid has no problem eating that's for sure!

Then they wheeled me into postpartum where we set off an alarm, the have a tracker on your baby that will lock down the unit if anyone gets to close to a door, kind of cool, kind of scary. After that I mainly remember laying on my back that's all I could do. I had some pressure cuff thingys on my legs and was still pretty numb, I slept with Hudson on me that night and we were all so happy!