2 has me beat :(

In my entire motherhood experience, which amounts to almost 2 1/2 years I've never had a day like the last two.  I've just felt completely unfit as a mother.  Maybe it was loosing Hudson at Target or maybe it was when some officer yelled at me for leaving my kids in the car for 3 minutes (within eyesight the entire time, 20 feet away, at 50 degrees).  Maybe it was when I unknowingly left Hudson in a poopy diaper for what I can only guess was around 3-4 hours.  Maybe it started when I was a nanny and never felt like I was a good nanny.  I don't know why but being paid to watch other peoples kids just has never been good for me.  Anyway, I feel completely unfit to be a mom today and feeling that way just makes me a crappier mom.  I'm pretty sure I'll get over it tomorrow.  Hopefully.  Maybe most moms go through this more frequently, or maybe not at all, I don't know or really care but I'm ready to have my mom come stay with me.  Then maybe the laundry will be put away and maybe we will eat real healthy meals, not just whatever I could throw out on the table between two demanding children.  Maybe my floors will get vacuumed and my bathrooms, cleaned.  I surrendered to the mess but then I can't function in a messy environment.  Thank you mom!

Life as of late . . . .

a windy fall day

TJ's fam loving on Tal

at the Colorado Adventure Park, just dow the road from us ontop of a mountain

my mom, Huds, and I

Huds found a stick

blessing day!

Veltus Park

Huds saw bikers at Snowmass village and he remembered his bike was in the trunk so he insisted he ride as well, we went in elevators and up and down hills

park break by Snowmass Village

my cousin Nick and I, hadn't see each other in 14 years, man we are a lot older

our maybe soon to be house, sorry about the crappy picture it was sunny and cold outside, so I did a drive-by to check out the plants in the front yard, we are waiting on the government to reopen so we can submit our loan

Two Rivers park

busted out the mocs

Alexander Lake Lodge, Grand Mesa, CO

Had to get out and check out the view

on the way to Alexander Lake Lodge, we were above the clouds it was enchanting

there are a million lakes up on Grand Mesa

Lily holding Talmage, she is a few days older than Hudson, we are in betrothal negotiations

Hudson let me snuggle him, so wonderful!

Huds was not so sure about that elk up there:-)

after lots of sugar and no napping, this happend around 10

Good Morning Alexander Lake, we were up on the 3rd floor in a darling room where all four of us ended up in the bed by morning, there are four of us wow!

This boy can run, unfortunately I had to carry him back about a mile.

It was quite a bit cooler but sasquatch was banned thankfully!

Huds is still taking about Baily and the boat.

He was quite the rower!

After a torrential downpour

We are so lucky to be friends with the Larsen family, they invited up to their lodge last Saturday and we had no choice but to accept.  It was a much needed get away from the world.  We didn't even have wifi access till a couple hours before we left, I almost wish we didn't but who can resist wifi access.  It was a great time to strengthen relationships, breath even fresher air, eat good food, and enjoy the cooler weather.  I had time to feel, it was wonderful.  I love and enjoy my family daily but there was something heavenly about being up there that intensified everything.

Talmage Dean

Talmage Dean, need I say more?  Here is his first month of life.  He's as perfect as can be.  He loves snuggling his momma all the time.  He cracked his first smiles the morning after birth and on his 6 week birthday started looking in my eyes and smiling. To me it's kind of hard till they start doing that, I know they are babies and it's nothing personal but that smile helps me know, ok yep I am your favorite and maybe I'm doing something right.

Love this guy!