We now have 4 boys and if you know any boy moms be extra nice to them, it seems if they are not outside or entertained 24/7 they resort to destruction. I've tried everything. Currently it's the end of Christmas break. We have been sick the entire time. The baby is sleeping and I told the kids to watch as much TV as they want but leave me alone. I know real responsible but you try being cooped up with the ruffians for 2 weeks straight. It's a good thing they are cute because the crusty strep sores on their face are repulsive and the medical bills aren't cheap. They have their good moments and they make me proud when they aren't killing each other but wow! One of our old neighbors used to tell me the horror stories of his life with 2 brothers. Pushing each other out windows and bloody fist fights and the like. I asked how his mom is and he said crazy. So ya my odds aren't looking so good.
Honestly life was pretty unchallenging for me for a long time and I feel like it dulled me down to a boring nothingness. Now I have so many challenges that as I sit here to deal with them I have no clue where to start. So I want to talk about what I love.
I love the summertime when it's warm and there are endless possibilities for adventure. I love the mountains and how ominous and strong they look also full of adventure. I think I'm missing adventure in my life. I'm trying to view my current situation as an adventure but today it feels more like a prison that I'm going to have to make monumental feats to overcome and how do I go about doing that? I'm sure other people are going through way harder challenges than I am, but today mine feel like mountains.
I broke my ankle two months ago on the 7th. My running which seemed to be the main source of my happiness (yes, I see the problem with that) seemed to be finally paying off. After all the cycles of having kids and newborns and gaining and loosing weight, I was feeling stable and getting back to where I was before the last kid. I had an amazing running support network that I spent lots of time with running and play dates with our kids. With that gone I focused on spending time with my kids and eating healthy. I'm back up and running and not doing too terribly. We had a lovely Christmas and then so much piled on top of me that I feel like shutting down.
I once had a dream that has always stuck with me, I was super young. I dreamed I was at school and it ended, I followed a group of beautiful children up a mountain, we were scrambling and climbing and it was so hard but when we got to the top I entered a home overlooking the ocean at the edge of a cliff. The view was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. A woman greeted me with so much love in her beautiful eyes and a warm hug, she told me the children who make it there never give up, they keep trying every single day no matter how hard it is. I decided right there to always keep trying no matter how hard because of that feeling at the top. I've thought of the meaning of this dream many times in my life. Mountains always seem to be a theme of my dreams that I remember. Last night I went out with some friends I was lamenting my feelings to one of them, she said the people who are successful never give up and it reminded me of this dream and to NEVER GIVE UP!
If you know me or have run with me, you know I run faster uphills than level or declining ground, I know it's crazy, I'm not sure if my running friends love me or hate me for it but most have commented on it.
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