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Monday, April 29, 2013

Today is the day!

Enjoying a BEAUTIFUL spring morning over here!  The snow is almost completely melted off Red Mountain and she sun is shinning!  I'm hoping the little bun in my oven will cooperate with us today!  This beautiful and quite morning I've had lots of time to think as I'm the only one awake.  I've always heard that humans have this carnal will to live and propagate to ensure their DNA is passed on.  While that may have some truth to it I think of how the sole desire of my heart is to see my children grow up and be happy and have families of their own, that bring them as much joy as mine do.  I hope they are successful in whatever they do as I know this will add to their joy, but having a family that I love infinitely has brought me more joy than anything I am able to wrap my brain around.  I had a hard time focusing on anything else in my life till I was able to have a family of my own, which I don't recommend, but it got me to where I am, so I am grateful.  Anyway, I want my children to have this joy in their lives because I love them soooo much, because they are such beautiful little humans inside and out that I want them to maximize their joy potential (which I don't think is possible).  I'll be honest I'm not one who falls in love instantly when they are pregnant.  I'm excited to know this little trickster and feel a little more love everyday, with each kick, but honestly it wasn't with Hudson till I got to know him that I fell head over heels.  I know there is room in my heart once I get to know this second one too, to me knowing the gender is a huge part of identity.  I hesitate posting this because I know so many who struggle to have children that would love to and I hope and know that this desire will be granted for each of you in this life or the next because of our Reedemer who makes all things right, I hope this isn't hurtful to them in anyway.  I hope someday this will still be available to my children to read and know that their momma loves them so much, no matter where they end up!  Time to go eat some sugar!

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