Today is the day!

Enjoying a BEAUTIFUL spring morning over here!  The snow is almost completely melted off Red Mountain and she sun is shinning!  I'm hoping the little bun in my oven will cooperate with us today!  This beautiful and quite morning I've had lots of time to think as I'm the only one awake.  I've always heard that humans have this carnal will to live and propagate to ensure their DNA is passed on.  While that may have some truth to it I think of how the sole desire of my heart is to see my children grow up and be happy and have families of their own, that bring them as much joy as mine do.  I hope they are successful in whatever they do as I know this will add to their joy, but having a family that I love infinitely has brought me more joy than anything I am able to wrap my brain around.  I had a hard time focusing on anything else in my life till I was able to have a family of my own, which I don't recommend, but it got me to where I am, so I am grateful.  Anyway, I want my children to have this joy in their lives because I love them soooo much, because they are such beautiful little humans inside and out that I want them to maximize their joy potential (which I don't think is possible).  I'll be honest I'm not one who falls in love instantly when they are pregnant.  I'm excited to know this little trickster and feel a little more love everyday, with each kick, but honestly it wasn't with Hudson till I got to know him that I fell head over heels.  I know there is room in my heart once I get to know this second one too, to me knowing the gender is a huge part of identity.  I hesitate posting this because I know so many who struggle to have children that would love to and I hope and know that this desire will be granted for each of you in this life or the next because of our Reedemer who makes all things right, I hope this isn't hurtful to them in anyway.  I hope someday this will still be available to my children to read and know that their momma loves them so much, no matter where they end up!  Time to go eat some sugar!

If I were to have made a gender reveal cake this is what it would have looked like (from here).
Our little trickster had it's legs curled around the umbilical chord and it's hands in front of it's face.  I'm pretty sure it was sleeping because it didn't move a whole lot either.  But everything looked healthy.  So that's good news.  Must be taking after my side of the family.  Hudson was sprawled out and waving to us during his ultrasound, clearly taking after his father.  Well the mystery continues till the end of the month hopefully baby will be more compliant during that ultrasound.

In other news I feel like I have pneumonia, I'm going to the doc in an hour.  I'm hoping this is a girl now because I don't know if I can handle what pregnancy does to my immune system another time.  But if it's a boy that would be fun too, because brothers 2 years apart in my opinion should have a lot more fun than anything spread further than that.  It's a win/win situation.  Voting has extended till the end of the month.

18 weeks take II

Yes there I am pregnant, braces, and glasses.  Does it get any better?  I ran out of contacts and I am BLIND without them!  Don't worry a new shipments is on it's way.  My belly is much bigger in real life, PROMISE!  Although I have lost weight recently which concerns me but my belly is growing, so I guess it's probably just shifting around.  I gained around 15 my first trimester and I've lost 5 my second, it's not supposed to work that way at all.  I was stressed because I gained too much, so I stopped weighing myself and now I'm stressed because I'm loosing weight, I'm just not even going to weigh myself anymore!  Tomorrow I am 19 weeks so I thought I should get this out before then.  Our ultrasound is in a week in a half.  Time to guess boy or girl????  Of course I am going to find out because that would be like having the internet and not using it!  Although I fully admire people who wait and maybe when I have one of each I will try that out.  

I will never not use this stuff!  It makes my hair AMAZING for 3-4 days.  I do it the first day and just let my hair do it's thing till I feel unsanitary and wash it again.  No frizz, no oiliness, just wonderful hair all the time!

And this, this is a blessing to a pregnant woman, I wish I could bath my whole house in it!  I hear there is a cleaning spray so I might!  It's all natural and smells like you came out of the Queen's Garden!  Most fragrances I can handle for a day because I hate perfumey smelling stuff (Bath and Body Works makes me gag!) but this stuff is a botanical therapeutical miracle!

St George

Huds brought me this cherry blossom and called it a star

kissing the duck

Waiting outside the Bear Paw for breakfast

there was a big empty closet waiting for me to use it/how TJ travels

kneaders french toast at home

on top of the mountain outside the condo

Garrison and TJ photo compliments of Brooke

Snow Canyon sand dunes, kind of like the beach without water

sand fight!

Splash Pad downtown

Nielson's Frozen Custard, we went here twice

this and the next one are also compliments of Brooke

Sand Baby


It was hard to come back to less than warm temps after this trip, before I left 45 was warm, after freeezing!!  It was a nice break and we were so glad our friends Brooke and Garrison could live it up with us a day.  We dined at the Pasta Factory, lunched at 25 and Main twice, and got In & Out on our way out, plus the Bear Paw Cafe and Neilson's, I could almost see us living us there but I don't know that I could say goodbye to the CO mountains.

Zion National Park

rest stop along the 70, had to let Huds expel some energy on our 7 hour drive although he never made a sad peep

this gas station attendant insisted we take a fam pic, she deserves attendant of the year award

Huds was ready to take the wheel around 8pm

good morning Zion!  It was a windy sleepless night for me, I even took half a Unisom, next time a whole one, oh and I finally got the mailbox app notification at 5am after I had finally fallen asleep, I considered deleting it but decided it was worth keeping

some hike by the long tunnel 

bridge to Emereld Pools hike

Weeping Rock

yes I know my but has gotten bigger, thank you pregnancy

on the way to The Narrows

Wish we could have stayed longer, but only if I could sleep at night!

Had to add TJ's pic of us sleeping, I was awake but the flash was too bright

My end of winter thoughts

Once when I was a little kid I was walking to school with an edgy cool kid.  I thought I was pretty cool and so I said some comment making fun of another kid, I was trying to be cool.  This kid then said my head was shaped like a peanut and thus followed years of me being insecure about my peanut shaped head.  In college I learned that women's cheeks thin out as they age (the things you learn in college).  I was excited for this yet skeptical.  I had by that time gotten over my peanut shaped head complex.  The other day I looked in the mirror and realized what happened to my cheeks?  They are gone.  So if you are under the age of 25 and have a peanut shaped head, there is hope for you!  Hope I made someone's day out there.

My other thoughts as of late.  What do you wear this time of year?  Especially pregnant.  I'm dying to move into spring but it's still pretty cold even if 35* feels like 50* these days.  I waffle between plaids. vest, and sweaters and bright colors.  I know some people will think I'm crazy but due to wearing my brothers hand-me-downs till I was 16 I have kind of a complex that forces me to always be dressed perfect unless I'm adventuring then I feel like I'm in disguise and no one can see me so I wear whatever I want.  So buy your daughters cute clothes in moderation and they won't be overly concerned with what they are wearing right?

You know what totally might ruin my year?  Due to the cherry shortage last summer there are no dried cherries at Costco!  Saying I LOVE cherries would be an understatement and since I can't even get the little danties most of the year how am I supposed to survive without dried ones:-0?

Lastly and mainly so you don't think I think about shallow things all the time, I was thinking about my personal guardian angels in this life.  You know the people who are always sent to you at the right time and right place and it means just what you needed.  Some of them are very far away but just seeing their faces on instagram gives me a sense of peace and love.  Thank heavens for those guardian angels I mights still be meandering without mine!

What our Vday looked like

I started the day with one of my favorites Fruit Stew

Running late to dance class shirt is on backwards, spike-lee bun oh and there is the baby hello there!

TJ snuck this in the night before ahhh

then this guy woke up with a high fever :-(

after a nap during the The Tigger Movie we drugged Huds with ibuprofen and went to Qdoba where he ate ran and danced

this is a mid week shopping run, I promise we eat healthier than it looks, Huds threw a ball in when we weren't looking

So this was my Valentine's Day.  After a whirlwind to get dad to work on time Huds and I had both slept in and were a little out of it.  Thinking he was just tired we went to the gym for our normal routine.  When I picked him up from the kid center he ran to me with open arms, normally he just keeps playing, occasionally I get a hug or a smile, thinking he was tired from the late night and no nap the day before I put him down for a nap.  He zonked.  I had errands to run etc so after 3 1/2 hours I woke him up.  He really didn't seem ready to wake up so I put him back to bed noticing he had a fever.  A couple hours later he woke up when I checked on him.  He refused to do anything but snuggle so after some books we watched The Tigger Movie where we both zonked out till dad took a picture of us.  Then we woke up and I clocked Huds at 102* so I gave him some ibuprofen.  30 mins later regular Huds was back and since it was past dinner time we decided to take advantage of Qdoba's buy one get one free for a kiss deal.  Yep that pretty much sums it oh and we bought some ice cream at the grocery store.  

It got me thinking about love.  How you love someone so much more when you've gone through the hard times together.  I think of little Huds, those exhausting first few months, the nights I couldn't sleep worrying if he was breathing or going deaf or whatever my mind conjures in the middle of the night when my son has a fever and I'm afraid to leave him sleeping by himself.  Same with TJ and I, during times of sacrificing for each other and putting each other first, we grow together the most.  How realizing you would do absolutely anything for someone else at your own expense and not think twice makes you love them even more.  Funny thing isn't it?