For the love of these mountains!

I've always loved/dreamed of living in this neck of the woods!  As time trickled on though I had a tendency to zillow other locations and see what home we could be buying instead of being crammed in a condo.  I would also tell people not from here, "well there aren't too many great places to go out to eat (coming from a foodie who left Salt Lake, the food melting pot of the world) and shopping is well . . . ."  My husband and I had talked about maybe transferring with work someday but it really wasn't an option and I hoped that we would be well and happily settled or some amazing opportunity would take us to some magical place.  Then he made a phone call and said "where do you want to go?"  I bawled a thousand tissues, my heart would not let me leave this place, not now, maybe not ever.  I all of a sudden didn't care if we had an office and craft room in our future home.  I didn't care if I ever saw a shopping mall again, in fact I despised the thought of a shopping mall.  This was the magical place!  These are my mountains!  I spent my childhood in these mountains.  I love them and they love me!  I haven't had near enough time to know each of them as well as I want to and I'm sure I won't want to leave once I have.  I told my hubby I would go wherever if he thought it was better for our family, but inside my heart was breaking it felt like a break up but worse!  I don't know how to live in a city after this, I never liked cars driving everywhere and people consuming all the time.  I love the clean air.  The slow pace of life.  People walking, biking, and jogging to their destinations.  Getting to know people and seeing them again.  People who know and care about me.  Spending time with my friends trail running and hiking.  Not so many unimportant demands, and more meaningful demands.  After drying my tears we got in the car and drove to Aspen to one of our favorite places to dine.  I almost didn't want to go, I felt it would be too painful seeing all that I love and knowing I couldn't have it anymore.  I took crappy car pictures of mountain tops.  But you know what the magic of the mountains worked over my husband and while we aren't completely decided he is on my side.  The only thing taking us away is more paid vacation and a pension but right now I'm just going to let that slide till it feels right to move, because right now it doesn't.  Here is my favorite poem I ever wrote, this marks it's 10 year anniversary, it's one of my favorites and may not be used without my permission.

Colorado

I open my eyes
I tilt my head to see
in the perfection of the first hours
crushing grace in its fullest magnitude
I feel so protected
shadows sculpt each rocky dimension
hiding views, waterfalls, and the rich memories that only the few that were there will ever remember

From the corner of my eye
I see the mountain in flames
the swirling clouds painting
a new picture every second
I taste the wild fruit naturally pure and sweet
I hear the rushing water of
the single Aspen spread miles long
I truly understand why rarely
found Columbines are not to be plucked

I feel this place created with joy
a solitudinous garden a masterpiece in
HIs very own eyes

I close my eyes and listen to the silence
of the full moon upon the snow
I feel power and miles of privacy hiking up a thousand foot summit
carving the freshest possible
most untouched powder at midnight

I feel so far away like 
I'm on another planet
I see the Milky Way arched
over my body starting
from one end of the Earth
and ending at the other
the stars like windows to other galaxies
so concentrated I can taste their silver purity
I open my eyes and I am home

PTown with my ladies

Yia-yia

cousin Lydia

Lydia looking like she belongs in Whoville

Huds and "Bince"

cool art at BYU, glad Huds wasn't there

where TJ mom and dad had their first kiss

Connolly womenfolk

checking out grandpa's new ride

our drive to Ptown

Earlier this Spring

"Bye-bye!" (waved to us) "Mimi"(while talking on his calculator phone to his lady friend ;-0)

Earth day hike Huds discovered in our backyard

He loves these things! 

first round of golf

Huds would not touch a weapon

the Taylor's came for a few days!

tomato soup

Easter (I don't think they know about the candy) is what he is thinking

Easter egg hunt Frodo style

favorite past time, throwing rocks into the river 

blackberry cheesecake

member of the Beatles

Bunny!

some week where the baby started to take over 23?

throwing rocks into the rainwater

hot chocolate

bball

cars

my view of the tower building

You've Probably Heard!

I feel terrible for not posting sooner.  However I left on a trip immediately after my last ultrasound.  Then there was the stomach flu week, then we were out of town again for another week.  I know rough life.  We are welcoming another baby boy!  I also learned that Huds doesn't like icees, I don't really either but we had to announce some way on the road!  We are so excited and these past 3 weeks I've really started to grow more attached to the little guy.  From his middle of the night rugby matches to talks with my sweet niece Cassidy about him, plus I'm pretty sure we named him.  Boy #2 although shy at first is starting to become a fun reality. I'm also so ready for another sweet baby.  Remember cute Huds baby?

Plus I want my body back, he can stay in there about 12 more weeks but after that I'm dying to get outside and move, sick of this plodding nonsense!  I had this moment listening to Mrs Potter by the Goo Goo Dolls that made me feel like a middle aged lady going through a mid-life crisis.  Granted my almost 2 year old had waved me away all morning and due to my condition and the mountains calling to me I was lamenting not being able to answer them in a run to the top of one.  So I cried and then I remembered how awesome Huds is 360 days out of the year and felt so grateful for my wonderful family!

Today is the day!

Enjoying a BEAUTIFUL spring morning over here!  The snow is almost completely melted off Red Mountain and she sun is shinning!  I'm hoping the little bun in my oven will cooperate with us today!  This beautiful and quite morning I've had lots of time to think as I'm the only one awake.  I've always heard that humans have this carnal will to live and propagate to ensure their DNA is passed on.  While that may have some truth to it I think of how the sole desire of my heart is to see my children grow up and be happy and have families of their own, that bring them as much joy as mine do.  I hope they are successful in whatever they do as I know this will add to their joy, but having a family that I love infinitely has brought me more joy than anything I am able to wrap my brain around.  I had a hard time focusing on anything else in my life till I was able to have a family of my own, which I don't recommend, but it got me to where I am, so I am grateful.  Anyway, I want my children to have this joy in their lives because I love them soooo much, because they are such beautiful little humans inside and out that I want them to maximize their joy potential (which I don't think is possible).  I'll be honest I'm not one who falls in love instantly when they are pregnant.  I'm excited to know this little trickster and feel a little more love everyday, with each kick, but honestly it wasn't with Hudson till I got to know him that I fell head over heels.  I know there is room in my heart once I get to know this second one too, to me knowing the gender is a huge part of identity.  I hesitate posting this because I know so many who struggle to have children that would love to and I hope and know that this desire will be granted for each of you in this life or the next because of our Reedemer who makes all things right, I hope this isn't hurtful to them in anyway.  I hope someday this will still be available to my children to read and know that their momma loves them so much, no matter where they end up!  Time to go eat some sugar!

If I were to have made a gender reveal cake this is what it would have looked like (from here).
Our little trickster had it's legs curled around the umbilical chord and it's hands in front of it's face.  I'm pretty sure it was sleeping because it didn't move a whole lot either.  But everything looked healthy.  So that's good news.  Must be taking after my side of the family.  Hudson was sprawled out and waving to us during his ultrasound, clearly taking after his father.  Well the mystery continues till the end of the month hopefully baby will be more compliant during that ultrasound.

In other news I feel like I have pneumonia, I'm going to the doc in an hour.  I'm hoping this is a girl now because I don't know if I can handle what pregnancy does to my immune system another time.  But if it's a boy that would be fun too, because brothers 2 years apart in my opinion should have a lot more fun than anything spread further than that.  It's a win/win situation.  Voting has extended till the end of the month.

18 weeks take II

Yes there I am pregnant, braces, and glasses.  Does it get any better?  I ran out of contacts and I am BLIND without them!  Don't worry a new shipments is on it's way.  My belly is much bigger in real life, PROMISE!  Although I have lost weight recently which concerns me but my belly is growing, so I guess it's probably just shifting around.  I gained around 15 my first trimester and I've lost 5 my second, it's not supposed to work that way at all.  I was stressed because I gained too much, so I stopped weighing myself and now I'm stressed because I'm loosing weight, I'm just not even going to weigh myself anymore!  Tomorrow I am 19 weeks so I thought I should get this out before then.  Our ultrasound is in a week in a half.  Time to guess boy or girl????  Of course I am going to find out because that would be like having the internet and not using it!  Although I fully admire people who wait and maybe when I have one of each I will try that out.  

I will never not use this stuff!  It makes my hair AMAZING for 3-4 days.  I do it the first day and just let my hair do it's thing till I feel unsanitary and wash it again.  No frizz, no oiliness, just wonderful hair all the time!

And this, this is a blessing to a pregnant woman, I wish I could bath my whole house in it!  I hear there is a cleaning spray so I might!  It's all natural and smells like you came out of the Queen's Garden!  Most fragrances I can handle for a day because I hate perfumey smelling stuff (Bath and Body Works makes me gag!) but this stuff is a botanical therapeutical miracle!